Strategically Placed Chewing Gum

Jimmy woke with a start. He checked his watch. Just in time, the game wasn't starting for another ten minutes. He could make himself a sandwich, open a bag of chips, grab a beer and be all ready when the game started. As he opened the refrigerator he remembered he'd...

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The Kid Couldn’t Dunk

Tony was 6'10" tall and weight just 191 lbs. When he was young and still 6'8" he was told he would fill out as he got older. He never filled out, though. He tried strenuous exercise including weight lifting. Even though he was able to bench press 225 pounds with ease...

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Today He Would Be a Swashbuckling Adventurer

He could lay there in bad another fifteen minutes or he could do something different, something unusual for him…. “This is going great,” he thought. “I need to keep this up. I need to be somebody different today. First, I will not shave. That’s the look today, rough and daring unshaved men, the look of an adventurer, sort of like Indiana Jones.”

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The Reindeer with the Big Nose

They were laughing at him again. Finte hated it when they laughed at him.  "Nanah, nahna, nah, na! Santa's never going to pick you," they shouted. Finte's big nose had gotten in the way again. Today at Santa's reindeer school they were practicing roof landings and...

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Being Sad and Lonely

She didn’t know what to do. She wanted to return the bed, but after just a week it was well used and she couldn’t just throw it out… not after spending more money for it than she wanted to spend. Before she got the

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The Surprise Ending

The orchestra is playing Joseph Haydn’s Symphony No. 45 in F-sharp minor, known as the “Farewell” Symphony . Many in the audience are familiar with the work and as it approaches they become increasingly attentive. Then, the first oboe and

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The Call Back

‘This isn’t like her,’ he thinks. ‘Then again it is. Sometimes she doesn’t call when he thinks she will when he thinks she should. Sometimes she doesn’t call for days, and he’s worried sick by the time he finally hears her voice

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The Witch and the Ice Cream

He looked at me, but didn’t say anything, didn’t even act like he knew who I was. That made me wonder if maybe she was a witch and she did something to them and she was taking them home to cook them. That’s what witches do to kids you know. If the kid’s lucky, the witch will make them a slave and make them wash dirty witch stuff. Usually, the kid isn’t lucky and gets stuffed in a big oven, the size of a pizza oven, only the witch isn’t making pizza.

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Did Someone Release 1,000 Monkeys in a Room?

This story was found on Yahoo this morning and I had to watch the video in order to understand the story. I thought this was written by a foreigner. Periods are misplaced. Sentences are incomplete. Commas don't exist where commas should be. What does "Ten Stastny that...

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Writing Is Not Easy

When I was in 7th grade I won (it wasn't exactly a victory) the award for worst handwriting. My teacher predicted I would be a doctor. At the time, that seemed like as good an idea as any. Although I also wanted to be a dancer, lawyer, baseball player, and...

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Memoir Monday: Let’s be Honest

A couple weeks ago took part in a panel discussion about memoir writing. A big concern of the audience had to do with being honest and naming names. I think the answers we gave were adequate, but I’ve been thinking about them off and on ever since. First be as honest...

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Memoir Monday: More Techniques

Every Monday I'll be adding a memoir related post to this blog. Last week I began by telling some of what I’ve learned about writing the memoir or personal essay and left you with some techniques to help you choose a story from your life to write about. My goal is to...

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Sayings of Caledon Pritz

Not Guessing

“Got my glasses fixed yesterday. I’m really pleased cuz they were cleaned, too. Now I’m not guessing as much when I drive.” ~ Caledon

Barking

“I thought the neighbor’s dog finally went to sleep, but apparently, there was still another hours worth of important barking to do.” ~ Caledon Pritz

Closure

Maybe you’re waiting for closure, even though you’ve already gotten it.” ~ Caledon Pritz

Waste

Life’s a waste of time.” ~ Caledon

Applause

If no one applauds when you walk on stage, does that mean you aren’t there?” ~ Caledon Pritz

Being Old

A man is not old until his ears are too big for his head.” ~ Caledon

Dreams

If you’re not building your own dreams, then whose are you building?” ~ Caledon Pritz

For Some

For some life is a catastrophe, for others it is merely an apostrophe.” ~ Caledon Pritz

Look Out…

“Be careful Mrs. Butterworth, things could get a bit sticky around here.” ~ Caledon Pritz

Gifts

Don’t let the past steal your gifts.” ~ Caledon Pritz

Caviar or Peanut Butter

A $200 ounce of caviar is no more filling that a 20¢ ounce of peanut butter.” ~ Caledon Pritz

The Day

“Either you run the day, or you run away.” ~ Caledon

Yesterday

Yesterday might have been terrible, but stop fretting about it. You made it to today, and that’s good.” ~ Caledon Pritz

Life

A difficult thing about life is letting things be what they are rather than trying to make them what you want them to be” ~ Caledon Pritz

Life… Again

“Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% what happens to you, or is it the other way around?” ~ Caledon Pritz

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