Fiction, Poems, Memoir

Monday Memoir: Baker

I was about to comment about the four miles between where we were and where we were going when Baker waved his hand in front of my face and a switchblade knife snapped open.

To say that scared me was an understatement.

“You know…” he said in a very hushed voice. “You know, I could kill you, real quiet like.”

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Monday Memoir: My Shelties Saved My Life

“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with your eyes,” the eye doctor said, “I think it’s in your head.” “What,” I thought, “is he trying to tell me I’m imagining it or that I’m crazy?” “There is no problem with your eyes,” he continued. “You have 20-20 vision. I...

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Memoir Monday: Five Tips for Writing a Memoir

Sometimes I think I’m a scratched record, repeating the same lyrics again and again. However, I was a teacher for a few years and learned that not every student understood something the first time I explained it. Often I had to repeat and rephrase, using...

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Memoir Monday: Roller Skating

I love to watch Gene Kelly dance. He’s so smooth, so confident on his feet. When I saw this video I was totally amazed, especially considering my own experiences on roller skates. How could anybody tap dance (at the 2:18 mark) on four little wheels? My father...

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Memoir Monday: Mezuzah Boxes

For me, a Catholic boy  with fervent Catholic parents and 13 years of Catholic schooling, one of the coolest things I saw when I was about nine years old was the inside of a Jewish classmate’s house. I wish I remembered his name, but I knew him for barely a year. His...

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Monday Memoir: an Outline

I was working on a couple memoirs, hoping to post one of them here today, but it’s not ready yet. The other is for the Ventura Writer’s Memoir Contest, which I will post here after the contest. For today I have a little form, a basic outline I use to help...

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Memoir Monday: Don’t Get Too Big, Too Fast

Mistakes you’re likely to make. The past few weeks I’ve been talking about writing a personal essay or memoir essay. Memoirs that are usually short — at least 500 words, less than 15,000. For some people writing a personal essay is a prelude, a warm-up to...

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Haiku: Awareness

Today I sat down a bit longer than I thought but wasn’t thinking I don’t remember thinking about trees or birds or even breathing...

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Memoir Monday: Let’s be Honest

A couple weeks ago took part in a panel discussion about memoir writing. A big concern of the audience had to do with being honest and naming names. I think the answers we gave were adequate, but I’ve been thinking about them off and on ever since. First be as honest...

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Memoir Monday: More Techniques

Every Monday I’ll be adding a memoir related post to this blog. Last week I began by telling some of what I’ve learned about writing the memoir or personal essay and left you with some techniques to help you choose a story from your life to write about. My goal...

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Memoir Monday: Writing a Memoir Essay

Memoir writing takes guts. It’s revealing and personal – sometimes even painful to put on the page. Some people know exactly what they want to write about when they start. Most of us live such interesting lives that we often think to ourselves, Should I write a...

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Please, Please, Please Wake Me UP

I’d love to start this story by telling you I woke up, but I can’t. At the end of this I’d like to tell you I realized I was just dreaming, so I woke myself up. That won’t happen. Well, maybe it will, but it hasn’t worked yet.Please Wake Me UP The truth of the matter...

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The Blog

Dr. Seuss

Dr. Seuss was a little afraid of children. He was always thinking: “What might they do next? He also feared public appearances because Theodore Roosevelt once bellowed, “What’s this little boy doing here?”.

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25 in 50 – Day 2

  My first day of 25 in 50, my plan to lose 25 pounds in 50 days, did not go well. First the Bears lost to Houston, second I overate. My hosts told me I should bring my own food because they were on a diet and wouldn’t be preparing any. So I brought my...

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Twenty-Five Pounds In Fifty Days

50 lbs. overweight, that’s me. Once upon a time I used to jog. I could jog for 2 -3 hours at a time. I was slim and fit. Then I got a new job. It changed my schedule and I was never able to get back to jogging. I tried a few times, but never managed to keep it...

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7 Things I’m Thinking Today

The beginning of the school year. For awhile I wanted to be a teacher. I was certified in secondary education. There’s no particular reason why I didn’t… other jobs, other life events intervened. However, in addition to learning how to teach I also...

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11 Things I’ve Been Thinking About Today

Sometimes I wish it would rain more often here. I live in Southern California where a month’s worth of rainy days are about average. I’m from the Midwest, where a month’s worth of rainy days often happen in a month. I’m not talking about...

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Writing Is Not Easy

When I was in 7th grade I won (it wasn’t exactly a victory) the award for worst handwriting. My teacher predicted I would be a doctor. At the time, that seemed like as good an idea as any. Although I also wanted to be a dancer, lawyer, baseball player, and...

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Awareness

“Life is a process, not a substance, and it is necessarily temporary. We are not the reason for the existence of the universe, but our ability for self-awareness and reflection makes us special within it.” ~ Sean Carroll, physicist

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Quotation: It Wasn’t Me

“I’m not a religious scholar. All I know is my faith teaches me that God created only one perfect man — and it wasn’t me.” Author Ron Fournier

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Joke: I Don’t Think I Am

Joke: “ A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says “You’re in here a lot. Are you an alcoholic?” The horse ponders for a moment, responds “I don’t think I am”, and POOF, he disappears! At this point, philosophy students start to...

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When I Started

writing this blog I thought I would write about Chicago, mostly about Chicago sports, because I grew up in the Chicago area and even though I haven’t lived there for more than 30 years I still closely follow all sports Chicago (with the exception perhaps of the...

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Damn! That’s Not the Best Word Either

This New Yorker cartoon is paraphrasing Ernest Hemingway: “There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” Today’s writers bleed a little less thanks to the computer’s bloody word processing capabilities. I’ve also...

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The Sayings of Caledon Pritz

Closure

Maybe you’re waiting for closure, even though you’ve already gotten it.” ~ Caledon Pritz

Waste

Life’s a waste of time.” ~ Caledon

Applause

If no one applauds when you walk on stage, does that mean you aren’t there?” ~ Caledon Pritz

Being Old

A man is not old until his ears are too big for his head.” ~ Caledon

Dreams

If you’re not building your own dreams, then whose are you building?” ~ Caledon Pritz

For Some

For some life is a catastrophe, for others it is merely an apostrophe.” ~ Caledon Pritz

Look Out…

“Be careful Mrs. Butterworth, things could get a bit sticky around here.” ~ Caledon Pritz

Gifts

Don’t let the past steal your gifts.” ~ Caledon Pritz

Caviar or Peanut Butter

A $200 ounce of caviar is no more filling that a 20¢ ounce of peanut butter.” ~ Caledon Pritz

The Day

“Either you run the day, or you run away.” ~ Caledon

Yesterday

Yesterday might have been terrible, but stop fretting about it. You made it to today, and that’s good.” ~ Caledon Pritz

Life

A difficult thing about life is letting things be what they are rather than trying to make them what you want them to be” ~ Caledon Pritz

Life… Again

“Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% what happens to you, or is it the other way around?” ~ Caledon Pritz

Funny Thing

“Funny, but the more I worry about what other people think, the more I become somebody else.” ~ Caledon Pritz

Faith

“Faith is the art of holding on to things in spite of your changing moods and circumcision.” ~ Caledon Pritz

Guilt

No matter how bad the problem, a little guilt can always make it worse.”  ~ Caledon Pritz

Gratifying

There are few things more gratifying than a credit card to put off till tomorrow what you can pay for today.” ~ Caledon

Wonder

Not all those who wonder will be lost.” ~ Caledon

Cynical

“I’m not cynical… I just don’t like a lot of things, so shut up about it, alright.” ~ Caledon

Correct

“Recent studies have shown that nine out of every ten Americans think they’re the one in ten with the right answer.” ~ Caledon

Three

“Three is an especially large number when all you have is two.” ~ Caledon 

 

Belief

The public will believe any lie, as long as you stick it in the middle of something they want.” ~ Caledon

Mirror

“Life is the mirror which reflects what we expect to see when we look into it.” ~ Caledon

Learning

“The best time to decide to learn another language is when the voices in your head become crystal clear.” ~ Caledon

Argument

“You’re less likely to lose an argument if you keep your mouth shut.” ~ Caledon

Nowhere

“A crack in the pavement goes nowhere in particular.” ~ Caledon

Mistakes

“Thinking we learn from our mistakes is often a mistake.” ~ Caledon

The Real Me

“I just realized, long ago I should have hired someone else to write my inner monologue.” ~ Caledon

Realism

Realism is… but is it?” Caledon

It Wasn’t Me!

Recent studies have shown that nine out of every ten Americans think it was one of the other nine.” ~ Caledon

Best Foot Forward

Standing on the edge of a cliff is not the best place to put your best foot forward.” ~ Caledon Pritz

Enemies

“I have no enemy’s, which is a shame. It makes it so difficult to insult anybody.” ~ Caledon Pritz

Chicago Style

“The worst thing about being a vegetarian is that sometimes I get a craving for something disgustingly delicious like a Chicago Style Hot dog and Tofu dogs just AREN’T Chicago.” ~ Caledon Pritz

weather

“Today’s weather is as beautiful as a well tuned kazoo!” ~ Caledon Pritz

Disagree

Heard this while in line at the grocery store, ‘It’s okay if  you disagree with me, but why would you want to?‘” ~ Caledon Pritz

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From:: Trails Across White

A Going Crazy Two

Sitting here reading It’s been two pages And I don’t remember a word I am with you As if walking As if I’ve said all I can say As if I love you As if that’s not enough Not anymore I don’t know what you want me to say I don’t know how to go […]

Pulling Beauty From

The tolerant hairstyle is recent hiding some of her frumpiness but it does some justice to this grumpy mean-cold woman who mumbles distant curses A gone dry long ago river smiling she admires herself in the grocery store window roughly removing a stray hair as she approves of the look With wrinkles like trenches protecting […]

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