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Chicago

Chicago. About Chicago – Sports, Food, Architecture, Memories.<br>
To read more of my Chicago stories, thoughts, etc, Click Here

My Fiction

Stories, mostly very short, less than 2,000 words. To read more of my fiction, Click Here.

My Poetry

I dabble in poetry. It may not be any good, but mostly it is. If you’d like to read more of my poetry, Click Here.

Essays

Thoughts, musings, and other stuff. If you’d like to read some of the other stuff I’ve written, Click Here.

Caledon Pritz

Caledon Pritz writes some stupid stuff. He reworks famous quotes. He make up famous quotes. My alter ego, Caledon wants to be famous. So I’m giving him the chance, Click Here.

Short Story: The Garage

Denise Dawkins watched her husband Sam slink out of the room. She listened to each shuffling footstep until the door to the garage opened and slowly closed. Unaware she was holding her breath, Denise exhaled slowly trying to let her anger evaporate. Even though she was steaming hot and the day was warm even for the middle of March, she felt cold. When the argument began her intention was to stay calm. It wasn’t the first time this subject was broached, more like the...
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Visited Writer’s Block This Morning

For starters, nothing seemed to be working. Yes, it was a terrible morning, but at least I got something out of it. If I write  enough, I always...
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An Extra Cinnamon Roll

This is an exercise where I take the first line or two of a book and start writing. The goal is to  write a complete story or scene. Another rule is that I haven’t read the book, so I have no idea where the beginning of the book is going. Additionally, I try to limit the story to 1,000 words “Here we go again. We were all standing in line waiting for breakfast when one of the case workers came in and tap-tap-tapped down the line.” ~ Christopher Paul Curtis from Bud, Not...
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My Fourth Grade Baseball Career

When I was in fourth grade an uncle asked me if I liked baseball. “Yeah, sure,” I said in order to end the conversation right there. The day would come when I could tell him about my big catch, but at that time, I had nothing to talk about. The fact was I didn’t like baseball at all. I was terrible at it. I couldn’t catch. I couldn’t hit and I didn’t care. I knew there were two teams in Chicago, because my classmates talked about them all the time, but ask me to name a...
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National Dance Like a Chicken Day

This is National Dance Like a Chicken Day, May 14th. Many people think this is the day they can go out in public and shamefacedly do the Chicken Dance. Although the Chicken Dance has been around for years, the first time I ever heard of it I was at a minor league ballgame. Between the third and fourth innings the team mascot walked out to second base and started dancing a silly dance to the bouncy music that was playing. The announcer suggested everyone stand up and dance...
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Abliophobia

Fortunately, this is one phobia I do not have. That’s not to say it is not a phobia I would never have. If I was locked in a solid white room with nothing more than a cereal box to read, I think I would find different ways to read that box again, and again. Of course, it would be nice to have a pen or pencil or crayon. Then I could use that cereal box as inspiration and write on the walls the stories, essays, poems, and novels it would inspire. If I was locked in that room...
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Everyone is Important and Every Life is Successful

I’ve often heard people complain that their life is meaningless. However, no life is meaningless, no matter how inconsequential it might seem. For instance, what if Abraham Lincoln’s great-great-great grandfather decided is life was meaningless or

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The Sayings of Caledon Pritz

Gratifying

There are few things more gratifying than a credit card to put off till tomorrow what you can pay for today.” ~ Caledon

Wonder

Not all those who wonder will be lost.” ~ Caledon

Cynical

“I’m not cynical… I just don’t like a lot of things, so shut up about it, alright.” ~ Caledon

Correct

“Recent studies have shown that nine out of every ten Americans think they’re the one in ten with the right answer.” ~ Caledon

Three

“Three is an especially large number when all you have is two.” ~ Caledon 

 

Belief

The public will believe any lie, as long as you stick it in the middle of something they want.” ~ Caledon

Mirror

“Life is the mirror which reflects what we expect to see when we look into it.” ~ Caledon

Learning

“The best time to decide to learn another language is when the voices in your head become crystal clear.” ~ Caledon

Argument

“You’re less likely to lose an argument if you keep your mouth shut.” ~ Caledon

Nowhere

“A crack in the pavement goes nowhere in particular.” ~ Caledon

Mistakes

“Thinking we learn from our mistakes is often a big mistake.” ~ Caledon

The Real Me

“I just realized, long ago I should have hired someone else to write my inner monologue.” ~ Caledon

Realism

Realism is… but is it?” Caledon

It Wasn’t Me!

Recent studies have shown that nine out of every ten Americans think it was one of the other nine.” ~ Caledon

Best Foot Forward

Standing on the edge of a cliff is not the best place to put your best foot forward.” ~ Caledon Pritz

Enemies

“I have no enemy’s, which is a shame. It makes it so difficult to insult anybody.” ~ Caledon Pritz

Chicago Style

“The worst thing about being a vegetarian is that sometimes I get a craving for something disgustingly delicious like a Chicago Style Hot dog and Tofu dogs just AREN’T Chicago.” ~ Caledon Pritz

weather

“Today’s weather is as beautiful as a well tuned kazoo!” ~ Caledon Pritz

Disagree

Heard this while in line at the grocery store, ‘It’s okay if  you disagree with me, but why would you want to?‘” ~ Caledon Pritz

Cold

“A Republican thinks it’s cold when his nickles are sticking out.” ~ Caledon Pritz

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